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Imitation is suicide. [entries|friends|calendar]
The John

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[21 Sep 2005|01:36pm]
So Rita's coming, and everyone is losing it.
I'm either going to Dallas or Austin for a few days, but traffic is beyond terrible and the gas stations are running out of gas.
I was advised not to leave any of my stuff here, but I can't take it with me either...
Classes have been cancelled for Thursday and Friday, but I still have a lab in 30 minutes. Why? Because my TAs are bad people.
I really think that everyone is over-reacting, but the hysteria is kind of contagious, so I'm trying to think of places I can put my stuff that are safe from trees, water, looters, nuclear strikes, etc.
Oh well - fingers crossed that everything turns out alright.
9 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[15 Aug 2005|11:46pm]
Once again, to everyone that came to the going-away party, thank you.
And thank you for the outpouring of love and support over LJ - I read that when I wasn't feeling so good, and it really helped me - you kids are amazing.

Rice is good. It's a little summer-campy right now, what with all the orientation games and such.
They're fun, but sometimes I just feel empty - there isn't a single person from Alabama in my college - people keep telling me they love my accent, though. Go figure.

I don't really miss home, per se. Going home can't make me feel more comfortable here. However, I certainly miss all of the Tuscaloosa people - I hate having to re-define my personality here. It makes me feel fake. I wish I could just make stupid faces at the people here and have them know that that's just typical John.

I don't know about this roommate business, either...I really got lucky with Pat - he's so agreeable and laid-back, and we even have SOME things in common, but I just can't stand not having ANY PRIVACY. EVER. I hate having to constantly think about someone else's feelings all the time, but again, I could have gotten much worse.

I will warn you that my posting will probably be really self-indulgent and mopey for a while - feel free to ignore, but I just have to have somewhere to vent. This isn't going to be easy, but this place just might be as amazing as I thought it was.

I love every last one of you kids. So much.

P.S. - I don't know about #7 in the nation for ugliest girls...there is definitely some potential here, haha.
29 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[12 Aug 2005|02:06am]
I have to go out there, put on the smile, and either be happy (despite feeling like I've already lost so much), or be doomed to social exile.
I am going to be so homesick, so depressed, but I have to fight it. I have to prove to myself that that place really is amazing as I thought it was when I visited so long ago.
On top of that, I have to work my ass off to impress the parents and to satisfy that strange urge in myself that simply won't settle for anything less than a 4.0.

It was really nice having a get-together tonight, but leaving those 4 standing there hurt so bad.
When will I see you kids again?
I've decided to pick up this LJ business again and maybe even the accursed Facebook, strictly as a means of keeping in touch.
I'll try to post pictures to let you kids know I'm doing arright, even if I'm not.
And know that no one will ever replace any of you.
Thank you to everyone who showed up tonight.
Grove Street 4 fucking life.
18 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[15 Jul 2005|03:31am]
Leaving tomorrow.

I WILL send postcards.
I WILL miss all of you.
I WILL have the time of my life.

Please pray that the sadistic gods of motion sickness avert their eyes from me...even though I have enough Bonine to kill a small elephant.

I love every last one of you - we will party sometime between August 8 - August 13.
5 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[12 Jul 2005|02:22am]
Ireland this Friday.
The excitement is contagious!
I'm pretty worried about being gone for so long, though - In a recent poll of my peers, I was voted the first person to get homesick.
I just want to be able to relax and have a great time with my friends...and I find that difficult when I'm depressed.

On the other hand, I am in no way worried about being homesick in college (which officially begins 5 days after returning from Ireland). Call me short-sighted, call me naive; there is something to be said for structure and routine when fighting depression.
I just hope I'm right.
++ I can't wait to start Japanese classes...it's like a lifelong dream of mine is about to be realized.

I'm sorry, did I not tell you that I'm a dork?

I finally feel like myself for the first time this summer - too bad it was too late.
18 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[14 May 2005|12:32pm]
[ mood | lost ]

I woke up today and realized that I had no idea what to do.
Frankly, that scares the shit out of me.
And yes, it still hurts.

26 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[21 Feb 2005|08:24pm]
Y'all always do this.
EVERYtime I go out of town, some crazy shit happens.
I don't know how I feel about some things.
I don't have an opinion about others.
I don't care that some things happened.
I don't know what to begin to start to think about the rest.
My sympathies to (you)^5.
Did you make it through all the vague statements? Hope so, because here comes the bottom line:

I MISS ALL OF YOU SO MUCH.

Last weekend: Mobile
Weekend before: Key Largo
Weekend before: Formal
But it feels like so much longer. I can't stand feeling like this - so out of touch with the people that mean the most to me. But this weekend = game on Friday night, The End. A free weekend, and I intend to see every last one of you, ya sneaky bastards.
I love you kids. Fin.
13 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[22 Dec 2004|12:41am]
Hmm...been a while.

So...I definitely got accepted at Rice, which I am very excited/nervous about. Oh well - I have until next August to deal with it. And now that I think about it, the excitement far outweighs the nerves. So much has already happened over the break. It's been a pretty good one so far, but these days get long without school to consume them. Soccer practice continues, and I have mixed feelings about the whole thing... Half of me feels so accomplished afterwards, while the other half wishes I had slept an extra hour and a half instead. Tonight was alright - nothing special. And tomorrow I might go to Birmingham, but then again I just recalled that I promised my sister and brother-in-law (that still feels weird saying those words...) I would go see a movie with them at Tuscaloosa's NEW FANCY theatre. By the way, is it 'theater' or 'theatre'? Just for the record.

General Statements:
1. I really, REALLY hate it when people call me out about something to make themselves feel better.
2. I really, REALLY hate it when people change the story.
3. I really, REALLY never want to watch that movie. Please... don't make such a big deal out of it next time. It only embarrasses me further.
4. I really, REALLY think the whole situation is sad, but I am so damn close to quitting altogether.

So maybe the last two weren't so general. Oops.

Sorry if this one sounds kind of down - it just kind of came at me from all sides today.
15 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[16 Nov 2004|12:22am]
Deceptacon by Le Tigre is the best music video I have ever seen.
More music videos should be like this:
http://www.letigreworld.com/sweepstakes/flash_site/song/song.html
Birthday this weekend - I can't imagine what being 18 will feel like. Probably exactly the same as being 17. But somehow it just seems so surreal.
I need to make a phone call.
19 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[18 Oct 2004|11:24pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

Been a while.
.Fallbreak.
It was so surreal, being at school today. It just seemed like a dream. A long one. A long boring one.

Dude. We went to Voodoo Fest.
I had so much fun with all three of you kids.
Conor - thanks for taking us/driving - it was a once-in-my-lifetime kind of opportunity. Thank you.
1. Green Day
2. The Pixies
3. Snow Patrol
Honorable Mention: Beastie Boys YEEEUH BOYYY!
The Killers weren't that great...Phantom Planet was surprisingly good. Sonic Youth was...abyssmal.
The ride home was REALLY quiet...I hope everything's OK...?

I saw Garden State tonight. Beautiful.
I need that movie on DVD and Hero. Right now. And the REAL Snow Patrol CD (the new one). And maybe the Phantom Planet one, too. And the REAL Green Day one, too. And I need to stop spending money like I have a source of income. And I need to finish my application to Rice. And I need sleep. Fin.

10 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[03 Aug 2004|01:48am]
Ok. Here we go.
I understand: Minimum wage, dead-end jobs, Accutane, asshole co-workers, criticism, friends, and after a long time, maybe even myself.

I do NOT understand: Cryptic entries, sneak attacks, undeserved/vicious criticism, but most of all, LIVEJOURNAL.

Seriously - why the hell do I keep coming back to this place? Can someone explain? It makes me think entirely too much, question constants, and pay attention to things that do not deserve it.

To you - I really felt like shit tonight until we hung out. Thank you so much. Call me about sizzling/other potential plans, and again - thanks.
6 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

Northern Rock rocks. [18 Jul 2004|12:15am]
[ mood | moody ]

So maybe Accutane DOES make one moody. But at least those hoes are working.

Work has hit a new low. There are no cool managers anymore. I work nine days in a row, close shift. Even though I get off early, I don't ever feel like doing anything when I get home. It takes at least an hour to pick myself up off the sofa. It's odd, though - I don't feel like this all the time. I don't even feel like this half the time. Only after I work.

My eyes look different. They look...more shallow, if that makes sense.

However, because of my friends, I'm doing just fine now.

To Mr. Brown, Mr. Wallace, Mr. Chestnut, and last but not least, Ms. Eubanks:
You kids make me laugh. And that means a lot right now. Thanks.

Counting down the days until I can put in my 2 weeks notice: 7.

24 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[29 May 2004|01:33am]
[ mood | awake ]

I guess this officially ends my one-month LJ hiatus...

Oh well - Summer has officially started and I managed all A's, which I am genuinely proud of, because 2nd period was a motherfucker. Oh well - my last connection to school has been severed; summer can begin.

So far, it's been pretty uneventful around here - work kind of dominates my life, but that's ok; we all need some kind of structure, right? And the hours REALLY kick ass. Otherwise, I either spend my days asleep or at the lake with everybody. Things are getting kind of monotonous, but that's nothing a day trip to The Ham can't fix. Plus, come June 18th, it's BEACH TRIP 2004 TIME, BITCHES! Last year was such a party - I hope we can get some more people to go this time.

Oh yeah - May 15 was definitely my sister's wedding...
Now I haven't been to many weddings, but damn - this one kicked so much ass. It was like a week-long vacation. I had so much fun with my whole family, and my sister looked like a princess. I wish she would get married more often. I'll try to scan/post some pics...perhaps.

Anyway...I need ideas for things to do! Or if I haven't seen you in a while, drop me a line - I refuse to tolerate another lazy summer.

5 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[22 Apr 2004|11:33pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I'm not bitter, anyway;
...Let it go.

Blame it on circumstance.
Blame it on the right place at the right fucking time.

Pain makes man think; thought makes man wise; wisdom makes life endurable.

3 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

THE PHOOOONE! WHERE IS THE FUCKING PHOOOONE?!?! [11 Apr 2004|11:31pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

Saturday night was brilliant.
Huge storm + Lyndz, David, and Koeoaoeneman.
Add Donnie Darko and Wet Hot American Summer, my new favorite movie...ever.
Just thinking about that movie makes me crack up.
We should have stormy movie night more often.
Love.

face your past...

Leatherface sucks at life. [10 Apr 2004|01:27am]
[ mood | bored ]

Why aren't the weekends fun anymore?
I mean - don't get me wrong - tonight was fun, thanks to Dora, Wesley, and Kat, but it's like we can never find anything to do anymore. We always have fun just sitting/driving around and talking, but it's like all of a sudden these past three weekends have been pretty damn boring. Hopefully we'll find something to do tomorrow.

Sunday is Easter - I always get sick on Easter, no joke. Hm. I think I'm ready for it to be summer, but that means full-time work and still nothing to do on the weekends. Actually, I'm not ready for the summer - I'm ready to go back to the beach with my friends. I'd kill a man to be on the beach right now, hanging out with everyone.

Otherwise, life is...boring. Work is work. The GM has started cutting my hours because I had to ask for so many days off this month. Just wait till she sees May. Beee-yitch! School is school - my classes all suck now because a.) my 1st period teacher is freaking out about the upcoming AP test, b.) My 2nd period teacher is insane. No, really., c.) My 3rd period teacher decided to go uber-bitch on us after being awesome for the first 2 6-weeks, and d.) My 4th period teacher shafted us with a lame seating chart. The semester started so great...wtf happened?

This week looks arright, though - Check out to go to BHam Monday, church trip this Friday. Finally, something to do on the weekend! This could be just what we need.

If Monday doesn't help, I'm giving up. But then what?

2 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

Simple conclusions. [01 Apr 2004|01:44am]
[ mood | impressed ]

1. Donnie Darko might just be my new favorite movie. It is incredible. Watch it. Now. Go.

2. The world has gone insane. Evidence: MTV's "I Want a Famous Face". WTF.

3. X-heads suck at life.

Butseriously. Back to Donnie Darko. I haven't enjoyed watching a movie that much in a long time. I love thought-provoking movies like that, especially ones with open-ended endings or expositions. Reminds me of...you guessed it - Cowboy Bebop. Rock. Work tomorrow - ACT this weekend. Puke.

10 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[30 Mar 2004|01:36am]
LAST LONG CAR RIDE: Here to Orlando. Vomit.
LAST GOOD CRY: Can't remember.
LAST MOVIE SEEN: House of 1000 Corpses. Thanks, Kat. No, really.
LAST LIBRARY BOOK CHECKED OUT: Probably something for school...maybe that Spanish dictionary with all the drug slang.
LAST BEVERAGE DRANK: Pepsi. Bleh.
LAST FOOD CONSUMED: Pizza.
LAST PHONE CALL: Lyndsey
LAST TV SHOW WATCHED: W.H.R.
LAST TIME SHOWERED: this morning
LAST SHOES WORN: Blue Pumas
LAST CD PLAYED: The Get Up Kids - EUDORA.
LAST ITEM BOUGHT: maybe the pizza?
LAST ANNOYANCE: See 'Last Movie Seen'
LAST ICE CREAM EATEN: Cheesecake.
LAST SODA DRANK: Pepsi. Bleh.
LAST TIME SCOLDED: Marilyn yelled at me...if that counts lol
LAST SHIRT WORN: Gray Wolf shirt
LAST WEBSITE VISITED: hotmail.com
5 BANDS YOUVE BEEN LISTENING TO A LOT
LATELY:
1. The Get Up Kids
2. Incubus
3. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
4. Dir en Grey
5. Cursive
NINE THINGS YOU LOOK FORWARD TO:
9. End of school
8. Summer
7. Beach Trip
6. My sister's wedding
5. The next game of Capture the Flag
4. Next payday
3. Soccer season
2. Did I mention my sister's wedding?
1. College
EIGHT THINGS YOU LIKE TO WEAR:
1. My black shirt.
2. My comfortable jeans
3. The blue Pumas
4. Black flip-flops
5. Panama City shirt
6. Grey zip-up hoodie
7. Get up Kids shirt
8. The hardhat
SEVEN THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. Ignorant people
2. Police
3. Acne
4. Indecisive....ness.
5. Rude customers
6. The policy that does not allow employees to cuss out rude customers
7. Freshmen
SIX THINGS YOU SAY MOST DAYS:*
1. Shut up, Victor!
2. Shut up, Baker!
3. YEAH! (dripping with sarcasm, usually accompanied with stupid smile/thumbs up)
4. I'll kill you!
5. You're the best.
6. Puke.
FIVE THINGS YOU DO EVERYDAY:
1. Sleep through my alarm clock
2. Drive
3. Do some form of work.
4. Take a nap
5. Spend time with the family
THREE MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:
1. Fight Club
2. Cowboy Bebop (though, really, I mean the series, not the movie)...
3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
TWO OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT THE MOMENT:
1. "Cage" - Dir en Grey
2. "The Martyr" - Cursive
6 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

[28 Mar 2004|12:53am]
Note to self:

Don't let the world bring you down;
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.
Remember why you came and while you're alive,
Experience the warmth before you grow old.

Words to live by.
4 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

Well damn. It's been a while. [21 Mar 2004|11:35pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Gah...I'm really quite obsessed with that song right now. It's just looping over and over and over again. That song and The Get Up Kids' Eudora have really contributed to my happiness over the past few weeks. Cage because it rocks; Eudora because I listen to it in the shower before work.

Waitaminnut - Work, you say? Yes, work. I can't believe that my lazy ass finally entered the work force, either (but in truth, I got the job largely due to Kat's persuasion). Anyway, the ABC is a pretty good place to work... the co-workers are all awesome, and the hours are reasonable. The pay sucks, but I consider that a fair trade seeing as how I often come home tired but laughing from that night's events.

School is flying by, and I still have to take all my tests...ACT, SAT, and the 2 SAT IIs that I have yet to pay for. Dammit. I actually take my ACT (or is it SAT...?) on the last weekend of Spring Break. Spring Break is...next week. Fuck.

Spring Break isn't going to be a big deal this year...my friends are staying in town, and I'm helping Ben move into his new apartment. Should be fun. Hopefully I won't have to work too much...I believe the dumb-ass GM thinks I have school that week, so I should be working the 5-close shift all week. Rock. Life is good, kids.

I missed you.

I need someone to watch CB with...any takers?

...

I thought not. Heh - L8r.

4 woke up from the dream ~ face your past...

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